Don’t Kill My Vibe!

Blue Vibe

For some time now, I’ve been thinking about removing “Hollywood party girl extraordinaire” from my blog tagline. I’d hardly consider myself a party girl anymore; most nights you will find me curled up with a book at home. However, I am fortunate enough to be invited to some of the most fabulous events around town, and I wanted to be able to share that side of me, even if the party girl only comes out once in a while these days.

Well, the party girl sure came out last month when I went to Miami for a long weekend, where I basically drank for three days straight–something I never do in L.A., but hey, I was on vacation! I had such an incredible time and made so many wonderful new friends, but I came back feeling completely run down, and not to mention, four pounds heavier! In spirituality we talk about letting go of behaviors that no longer serve us. After my wild weekend, I came to the realization that this party girl behavior was no longer serving me.

From a purely physical standpoint, as a fitness professional, I owe it to myself and my clients to practice what I preach and be in the best shape possible. When I’m sober, I’m extremely health conscious, eating a gluten-free diet, watching every single bite of food that goes into my mouth, even counting the number of almonds I eat (I never have more than eight in one sitting). However, all my discipline and hard work goes out the window when after a few drinks, I turn into a binge eater. My friends may think it’s cute to see me gorge on bread and butter sandwiches at 2a.m. (yes, I know it’s disgusting), however, I find it embarrassing and my body will never be where I want it to be if I’m drinking on a regular basis.

Now for the metaphysical standpoint: we are all beings of energy. When we are vibrating on a high level, we are in tune with the frequency of the universe. Some behaviors that raise your energy vibration are yoga, meditating, lovemaking, thinking positive thoughts, complimenting people, clean eating, chanting and reading inspirational books. When we are operating at a high frequency, our intuition is sharper, we feel more inspired, and we are greater able to manifest miracles. On the flip side, some behaviors that lower our energy frequency are thinking negative thoughts, complaining, judging, eating junk food and, yes, drinking.

I’ll admit I am a bit superstitious, but I’ve noticed when I’m in party mode, it’s almost as if I’m putting a more chaotic (low-level) energy into the world. After my party nights, it’s not uncommon for me to find a ticket on my car, or in Miami, my flight was delayed for nearly four hours causing me to miss a promo modeling gig. The delayed flight was beyond my control, but when things start going wrong, I always take it as a sign from the universe to slow down and reevaluate my behaviors, which usually means taking a break from alcohol. I’ve noticed when I do take these breaks, everything is better. Of course, I look and feel more radiant and alive, but I also feel more intuitive, I am inspired to write more, and miracles seem to naturally unfold around me.

For instance, in the last few weeks after I decided to take a little break from drinking, I received a really exciting job offer after posting my resume on LinkedIn; then a client of mine gave me a very generous tip on the Pilates package he bought; and a friend of mine offered to help me paint my apartment pink. I believe that our experiences in life are a direct reflection of the frequency we are vibing in.

Since I do still enjoy going out and many of my friends are in the Hollywood party scene, I sought some advice from my energy healer girlfriend who loves to party, but doesn’t drink when she goes out. She told me that I need to examine my intentions of why I am going out and why I am drinking. Am I going out to see friends, to network, to eat dinner? I can visit with friends without having to stay at the club until the lights go up. And why am I drinking? I realized that I’m not drinking because I love alcohol so much–usually when I drink, I am drinking because other people want me to. Maybe I’m worried my date will think I’m boring if I don’t drink with him. Or maybe I want to be on the same level and connect with my friends. It would be a rare occasion that I actually wanted to go out with the intention of really letting my hair down since my authentic self isn’t much of a drinker.

I don’t mean to sound condescending or judgmental, because I’m not. I think drinking and partying are totally fun. It’s just that I’ve been sneaking into Hollywood nightclubs since I was seventeen. I’ve had A LOT of fun in my life, probably more fun than most people will ever know. Since I’m trying to accomplish so much right now, I actually feel a bit guilty when I go out and party these days. Every night I spend drunk is a day I will spend hungover, not operating at my full potential.

I’ve already met a great deal of resistance when telling friends I’m taking a little break. Several people said, “but you’re soooo fun when you’re drunk.” I’m flattered everyone wants me at their parties and thinks I’m so fun when I’m drunk, but I’m a lot of fun when I’m sober too–and when I stick to coconut water, I don’t bite. There’s no need to worry, with or without alcohol, I will never lose my wild spirit and sense of playfulness.

I hope my party friends will join me in more high-vibe activities like hiking, yoga, green juice dates, spiritual lectures etc., so we can raise our vibration and manifest miracles together. Of course, you’ll still see me out on the town from time to time, but I’m going to reserve my drinking nights to holidays and special occasions. I don’t want to say I’ll never drink again–I know when a certain high-vibe friend comes to town with pink champagne, I will definitely won’t be able to resist.

Who’s to say how long my health kick will last, summer is really fun in Los Angeles, but for right now, I don’t want to kill my vibe!

Yoga Vibe

Falling Deeper into You

Psyche&Eros “Psyche & Eros” by Catherine Andrews

During her Manifest Miracles Now workshop, Gabby Bernstein played the devotional song “Grace of God” by Gurunam Singh. I found this beautiful song to be so moving and powerful that I’ve recently incorporated it into my daily meditation.

Yogi Bhajan, the man responsible for bringing Kundalini yoga (and Yogi Tea) to the West, says that all women are the grace of God. What is grace but a blessing? When we women lose our insecurities and walk through life with this grace of God energy, viewing ourselves as blessings on the world, asking how we can honor and serve, we will work miracles not only in our own lives, but also in the lives of others.

Here are the lyrics to “Grace of God” by Gurunam Singh. We should all love in such a way:

I am the Grace of God.

How can I honor you?
How can I serve you?
I find myself longing to.

Falling deeper into you.

I am the Grace of God.

It’s time to leave the past behind.
Just let go, let’s unwind.
Ease your body, rest your mind.
Go within, see what we find.

And I find myself longing to.
Falling deeper into you.

Falling Deeper into you.

I am the Grace of God.

Now I’m looking in your eyes.
You’re so strong and you’re so wise.

I find myself longing to.
Falling deeper into you.

Falling deeper into you.

“Every woman is a goddess.”~Yogi Bhajan

The Barbie Collectionary

Barbie-2Since so many of my girlfriends and readers are Barbie fans, I wanted to share with everyone this fabulous new site I recently discovered. The Barbie Collectionary is a dictionary of all the amazing Barbie collectibles ever created.

Looking at this site brought back so many memories from my childhood. I immediately looked up my ultimate favorite, the Bob Mackie Gold Barbie Doll. As you can see, even as a child, I had an over-the-top sense of style.

Bob Mackie Barbie

After looking up just about every Barbie I used to own, I began to seek out some of my more recent favorites: the Blond Gold and the Blond Diamond Barbie Dolls designed by Phillipe and David Blond, also known as “The Blonds,” who believe every woman should be glamorous every day. One thing is for certain, they definitely created some very fierce-looking Barbie dolls.


My last discovery on The Barbie Collectionary was The Goddess of the Galaxy Barbie. Equally as fierce as the Blonds’ designs, this Barbie is sporting some sexy thigh high boots and has a very sci-fi feel to her. I love the whole outer space vibe and the very fact Barbie is finally getting some recognition for the goddess she is.


I hope you have as much fun as I did browsing the The Barbie Collectionary.

Timing vs. Magic


I often hear that relationships are about timing. While I do believe this is true, the notion is totally unromantic to me. There’s no bigger turn-off for me than when a guy tells me on a first date that he’s achieved everything he’s wanted in his life and now it’s time to find a wife and start a family. Although I should mention that this actually might be a turn-on for a more practical type of girl, but definitely not for one who practices magic.

I’m a romantic and don’t want to feel like I’m simply in the right place at the right time. That’s not very flattering to me—I certainly don’t want to feel like I’m on a job interview when I’m on a date; I want to feel like my guy is completely dazzled by my charms and that there’s no one in the world who could ever possibly be so captivating. And when I look at him, I need to feel butterflies and see fireworks, or like my dad said about when he met my mom, hear cannons blasting through the air.

To me, timing is more about convenience than it is about romance. In fact, life is sticky and love can be inconvenient. I believe that my soul mate would move mountains to be with me even if the circumstances weren’t ideal.

I was recently talking to an old friend who expressed to me that he simply married the girl who was on his arm at the time he was ready. While he may be perfectly content with his situation, I would never want to be the girl who just happened to be on a man’s arm when he was ready. I’d rather hope my husband would tell his friends that he couldn’t live without me and how our connection is cosmic and how we knew each other in a past life. (Ok, I know I’m getting a little carried away, but I am actually completely serious.)

When people ask me why I’m not married or tell me to give that nice (but sensible) guy a chance, I respond that I’m holding out for magic. I realize I may sound delusional to some, but once you’ve felt magic, you can never look at love in a practical light again.

Two years ago I fell in love at first sight. I was walking down a staircase and my eyes locked with one of the most magical men I’ve ever met. Yes, there were fireworks and cannons blasting through the air. I later asked why he chose me out of all the beautiful girls at the party. He told me it was the way I looked at him. He must have known I fell in love.

The old Carpenters’ song comes to mind when I think of my love, “Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near…Why do stars fall down from the sky every time you walk by?

One the day that you were born the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true. So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes so blue.”

The stars did indeed fall down from the sky every time he walked by, and not only birds, but angels appeared every time he was near. I know because he’s the only person whom I’ve ever seen sparks of light flash from my eyes around, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with my vision. I never understood why this light show occurred in his presence until recently when I read these sparks of light actually mean angels are in our midst. Now that’s magic!

And if you think I’m crazy, take Doreen Virtue’s (Ph.D and angel expert) word for it:

Take Your Passion & Make It Happen

It’s funny how sometimes the books you need to read just fall off the shelves at the right time, or in my case, the song I needed to hear played on the radio exactly when I needed to hear it. One of my favorite ‘80s movies has always been Flashdance. In case you haven’t seen the film, Jennifer Beals was a welder by day and an exotic dancer by night with the dream of one day attending the Pittsburgh Conservatory of Dance. She was the epitome of a strong independent woman and beyond sexy, dancing like a maniac in her leg warmers, shaking her sweaty hair out. The movie left quite an impression on me; even to this day, I am a huge fan of the bare shoulder sweatshirt. But more importantly, I love a movie about a girl making her dreams come true, or rather, taking her passion and making it happen.

If you’ve been following my blog, you probably know that I am in the process of trying to find the right publishing house for the memoir I wrote. As my agent reminded me, it’s only been on the market for a few months, but the longer it takes to sell, the more time my pesky ego (fearful voice in my head) had to get a hold of me. While I never doubted for a second that writing was my purpose, I did start to wonder if perhaps I had written something a bit too personal. I’m usually a girl who doesn’t care what anyone thinks, but I found myself starting to worry how people would perceive me, and I began to wonder if I should write another less intimate book instead.

I went to seek guidance at my favorite metaphysical store in Hollywood, Objets d’Art & Spirits, where I bought a devotional candle to Ganesh, the scribe and remover of obstacles. After the candle burned all the way down, I brought it back to a store for a reading. The candle reader told me that I need to stand behind what I wrote and not to have any doubts about my book. He said that I’ve been putting a fearful energy out into the world, sending a signal that I didn’t really want it to sell. He told me not to worry, my book will be widely received.

This week when I light my candle to Ganesh, I was told to return to my project with the enthusiasm I had when I first started writing it (take my passion) and to really focus on envisioning my book published (make it happen). When I got back to my car and turned on the radio, “What a Feeling,” the theme song from Flashdance was playing, which to me, was confirmation from the universe that I did indeed need to stand behind my what I wrote.

While I can’t say with certainty that candle reading holds the secrets to the mysteries of the universe, I am grateful for the encouragement and the fact I left the store with a renewed sense of confidence. As a result, I spent this past weekend polishing up my book proposal in order to send it out to another round of publishers. Whenever I go back to the book, I do feel as excited and confident as the day I started it.

I wanted to share this moment of self-doubt with you to demonstrate how that sneaky little ego tries to sabotage us from achieving our goals. The ego is the fearful voice in our heads that could tell us we’re not good enough or talented enough. The ego might also tell you that people will judge you or make fun of you. The ego wants you to abandon your dreams, but don’t listen. Instead, listen to spirit, the part inside you that tells you to take your passion and make it happen.

Whether you dance like Jennifer Beals, sing like an angel or tell stories like I do, the universe has blessed you with a gift in which you were born to share. It’s almost selfish to keep these blessings all to yourself! No matter what your gift, have faith that someone’s life will be touched by what you are putting out into the world. And know that we live in a universe that wants us all of our dreams come true. Being is believing!


My Favorite Blog & My Favorite Girl

 Rebelle Society@RebelleTweet

Very exciting news! Rebelle Society published an article this morning that I wrote about Congressional candidate Marianne Williamson. Below you find the link:


Don’t Dumb It Down


A matchmaker friend of mine recently advised me not to sound so “accomplished” when talking to men because she feels it intimidates them. She told me not to mention that I’ve written a book and to only say that I’m a Pilates instructor. She went on to explain that the most powerful men she’s worked with were all just looking for someone very simple.

While that may be the case for some men (I do have a friend who seems to only be interested in women who don’t speak English–I guess he isn’t looking for clever conversation), personally, I am not the kind of woman to dumb myself down in order to catch a man. In fact, I’m not even trying to catch a man; I think he should catch me. One thing is for certain, I would never be content just being someone’s arm candy. It is important to me to always remain true to myself and to be a woman who has a voice and an opinion.

All of my boyfriends, even the borderline criminal ones, have been geniuses in their own right. Since I am attracted to more of an intellectual type, the man for me isn’t going to be intimidated by my achievements because he’s probably going to be much more accomplished. I want a boyfriend I’m in complete and utter awe of, one who inspires me to create more, not someone whom I have to hide any part of who I am, so he could feel better about himself.

I look back to the two men I’ve loved most in my life. My long-term ex-boyfriend, an Emmy Award winning T.V. writer, said he fell in love with me because he had never met a pretty girl who was so well read. And my ultimate crush, one of the most talented and brilliant men around, told me early on that I reminded him of a much smarter Jayne Mansfield (no disrespect to the lovely Jayne—like most blonde bombshells, I’m sure she was much smarter than most people gave her credit for). When I first sat down to write my book, these were the two people whose opinions meant most to me in the world. Sharing my early pages with these men did not intimidate them in the least. My ex-boyfriend told me that he was so impressed with everything I was doing and the more he knows me the more he loves me (which is a huge compliment since we’ve known each other over ten years. You would think he’d be sick of me by now!). And I felt letting my crush have a sneak peek at what I was working on had deepened our connection.

Although these were the only two men I was actively seeking approval from, after I began blogging, I started to get more respect from men in general. One of my favorite guy friends started sending me messages whenever I would post a blog he liked, and as a result, we’ve become very close. At a recent dinner, he remarked that he never knew I was such a “thinker.” Now at Hollywood parties, guys always compliment me saying I’m so “deep” or “spiritual.” And one of my best guy friends, or as I like to call him, my “twin,” has been introducing me for years saying, “She’s much smarter than she looks.” To be honest, the fact he says this totally embarrasses me, but coming from a Yale grad, I should probably be flattered. The point here is not to brag, but to show you that while dumbing it down may attract a certain kind of man (probably a controlling type), showing your intelligence will attract another type of man, a more desirable type in my eyes.

My matchmaker friend and I agree on one thing, no matter how smart you are, a man wants a woman who respects his thoughts. No one likes a know-it-all, so even if you do know more, you don’t want to make a man (or anyone for that matter) feel dumb. Since I have a thing for the walking encyclopedia type, it’s only natural for me to let the men in my life know how brilliant and fascinating I think they are. And it’s also natural for me to let them know how much I respect and value their opinions. If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t be dating them. However, if I do have a difference of opinion, I’m not afraid to express myself, but I do so in a way that is sweet and gentle and won’t crush a man’s ego. I think it’s important to make sure we don’t come off as abrasive or argumentative when expressing our opinions. Most men are career driven, so when they come home from work at night, they want a woman to be their escape.

My parting advice is that instead of dumbing yourself down to catch a man, become passionate about your own life, and men will try to catch you. When you’re excited about your job, your friends, your hobbies, a man will sense your enthusiasm for life and find you much more exciting than a girl who lives and breathes only for him. I know that the men in my world are more intrigued by a passionate woman than a simple girl.

I’ll leave you with my favorite quote from Marianne Williamson. This insight inspired me to quit playing small and not to be afraid to let my light shine. I hope it does the same for you.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Marianne Williamson

Shine on!

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