I’ve been trying to comfort one of my girlfriends who is feeling a little lost and hopeless after a recent breakup. When she started saying things like “all men lie, don’t believe them no matter what, don’t get it in your head that you even like them, RUN!,” I expressed to her that I felt she was being a little dark. I think I might have offended her when I suggested that maybe part of the problem was all this fear-based thinking and negative self-talk. I’m not normally such a know-it-all, but I’ve spent years training my mind to think mainly positive, loving thoughts; so when someone comes to me with negativity, I feel the need to put on my spiritual earmuffs.
My girlfriend went on to tell me how she read in a book that everyone has one area in life he or she struggles with. She pointed out that while I don’t have the problems with men she does, I have health issues and that is what I am meant to overcome here on this Earth. For the record, my love life hasn’t been perfect either, but after a couple of bad relationships in my early twenties, the story I started to tell myself was that from now on, I was going to be a girl whom men cherish and respect. That’s not to say every man I’ve dated since then has met my standards; if I meet a man who is not in alignment with this vision I hold for myself, I simply blow him a kiss and move on.
In regard to my friend’s comment about my health, it’s true that I do have hypothyroidism; that is a scientific fact. However, knowing that our words and thoughts are extremely powerful, I too have to be careful with the stories I tell myself. A Course in Miracles explains that every thought creates form on some level, meaning that whatever we believe in our mind will ultimately become our reality in the world.
The trick here is not to be naïve or unrealistic. In my friend’s instance, we can’t deny that she’s been hurt; but instead of swearing off men and saying that she will never find love again, it would be more beneficial for her to tell herself that someone wonderful is on his way. When I go through a breakup, I always have faith that the universe will send me something better, so you won’t see me sitting around crying for too long.
It becomes much easier to cope with the pain of a breakup when we understand that relationships are assignments from the divine and not everyone is meant to stay in our lives forever. The universe conspires to pair us with partners who help us grow into our best selves. Some people come into our lives simply to teach us the lessons we need to learn; then we part ways. Sometimes the lesson can be as basic as learning what we don’t want in the next guy.
One of the keys to changing our thoughts is trusting that we live in a friendly universe that wants the best for each and every one of us. If something didn’t work out the way you planned, it’s only because the universe has something better in store for you. The universe wants us to have the greatest guy, the best job, and a healthy, happy body. However, when we tell ourselves negative, fear-based stories, we are sending the universe the wrong signals and can often manifest our fears—this is what A Course in Miracles calls a “miscreation.” We want to be careful to think the thoughts that will create our dreams and not our nightmares.
When applying this theory to my health, I can’t deny that my thyroid condition doesn’t exist, but I would do myself a disservice if I sat around dwelling on my symptoms all the time. Of course, I do my research and take my medicine, but it is equally, if not more important for me to visualize myself as happy, healthy, and vibrant in order to speed the healing process along. Medicine is the perfect example of the power of our minds. The reason that a placebo, a pill with no active ingredients, is often effective in healing patients’ symptoms is because people believe it will work.
So next time you have a story to tell yourself, make it a good one! Instead of focusing on what you’re afraid of happening, focus on what you would absolutely love to happen beyond your wildest dreams…I think we can all take a cue from another one of my girlfriends who is so spiritually advanced, she is able to energetically raise her metabolism and train her mind and body to make any excess weight go directly to her chest….trust me, it’s totally working for her!